What type of Mother am I?

   So the story begins like this.  I wake up after only a few hours sleep to my beautiful little boy telling me its time to get up.  My body is awake and I can feel it moving but i'm pretty certain my brain is back in my bed.  I stumble to the coffee machine and begin preparing a pot so that I can mange to function.

"Mom I'm hungry" I hear him say behind me
"Darrell one second momma's making a pot of coffee"
"but moooooooom I'm hungry"  ok, its only been 12 hours since he last ate.  How do I know this for certain?  Cause I had to clean the cheesy mess from his chest when he feel asleep the night before eating them.  I'm not a doctor but i'm damn near positive the child isn't going to die of starvation after 12 hours.
"One more minute Darrell I'm just making a pot of coffee"
I'm almost done, I just need to scoop the coffee into the filter and press that glorious little red button that will fill my house with the smell of the fresh brew.  That's when I hear it........that beautiful little voice, the person I love most out of every one in the world utter the words that could have been his death sentence.  EXSPECIALLY since I haven't had that cup of coffee I've been craving!!!

"Your going to make coffee before feeding me?  What type of mother are you?"

It was one of those stunned silence moments, I swear I paused with the coffee scope in mid air before I turned around and looked at the blonde hair child behind me.  That sweet innocent 7 year old face staring up at me waiting for an answer.  I've always believed if he was old enough to ask he was old enough to receive a truthful answer, though when he's asked about where babies come from I made it sound a lot prettier then it is.  And truth was he was asking me a question now and deserved an answer.  What type of mother was I?

     Well, I'm the type of mother that when all odds where stacked against you I never left your side.  I refused to believe what facts where telling me cause I believed with all my heart that you could beat the odds.  i'm the type of mother that went without food, without sleep, without giving in to my own heartache because you came first and always would.

     I'm the type of mother who has given up a life outside of you, who's taken every odd hour job just so she can have the pleasure, the pure honor of tucking you into bed every night and being there in the morning just to see you wake.

     I'm the type of mother who has forsaken that 20 min bath when my back is killing me because you really need me to help you beat that video game level, or help you build Bennys space ship space ship space ship (yes it has to be said 3 times watch the movie) because its worth the self sacrifice to see you smile.

     I'm the type of mother who has forsaken her sanity and watched the same movie 80 times in a row because you just LOVE it.

     I'm the type of mother who forgets what its like to have an adult conversation because I've completely committed every inch of my life, my very being, to you little man, and have done so with a willing and loving heart.
 
These are the things I wished I had said to my son, wished I calmly explained to him, but lets face it, it was 830am and I hadn't even finished making my coffee yet let alone had a cup.  The response he got?

"I'm the type of mom who's about to put her foot in your butt, go to your room"

ok........................................so maybe I have some things to work on

The Cabin in the woods

     You are walking through a dense forest.  The trees so thick you can barely see the blue sky above you.  The ground thick with a mulch that looks like it has never seen the sun through the thickness of the trees surrounding greenery.  Suddenly you come to a clearing.  The forest floor gives way to a field of green.  A fence surrounds a small area of cattle, another surrounds long stalks of wheat.  Vibrate flowers surround a little log cabin in there pretty wooden flower boxes.  Would you assume someone has created this space in the middle of the woods?  Or would you continue on your way only giving a small momentary glance at what you've stumbled upon and say circumstance created it?

     Now I'm willing to bet a good chunk of money that most of you reading this and just said to yourself "what a stupid question, of course someone created that cabin." or something along those lines.  In fact I'd go as far to say that 99.9% of the population would say "someone created that cabin and the surrounding space".

     Now I'm betting your asking "what the heck is her point"

     Did you know that Jupiter and Saturn protect the earth?  They are actually nicked name the guardian planets amongst astronomers.  It is stated that Jupiter and Saturn have protected life on earth for millions, hundreds of millions of years.  How?  By protecting us from shielding comets.  It was once thought that long-period comets (a comet that takes more then 200 years to orbit around the sun) occasionally destroyed life on earth.  yet Astronomers now know that Jupiter and Saturn's gravitational fields can/do eject comets further out into space, or draw them near so they crash into the huge planets. (read more about this at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1203405/Guardian-planets-Jupiter-Saturn-shield-Earth-catastrophic-comet-collisions.html)

     Did you know that Earth is the perfect size?  Earth's size and gravity holds a thin lay of nitrogen and oxygen gases.  If earth were any smaller an atmosphere wouldn't be possible.  If it were larger its atmosphere would contain free hydrogen.  What does this mean?  Earth is the only planet known with the perfect atmosphere to sustain plant, animal, and human life.

    There are 200 known parameters necessary for a planet to support life—every single one of which must be perfectly met, or the whole thing falls apart.

     Fred Hoyle, the astronomer who coined the term “big bang,” said that his atheism was “greatly shaken” at these developments. He later wrote that “a common-sense interpretation of the facts suggests that a super-intellect has monkeyed with the physics, as well as with chemistry and biology . . . . The numbers one calculates from the facts seem to me so overwhelming as to put this conclusion almost beyond question.”   http://www.wsj.com/articles/eric-metaxas-science-increasingly-makes-the-case-for-god-1419544568

         Theoretical physicist Paul Davies has said that “the appearance of design is overwhelming”


      Do yourself a favor and look up the human brain.  Your brain processes everything you see, taste, smell, touch.  It regulates your body temputure and instructive your body  not only to continue functioning (breathe, blink, heart beat, blood flow) but how to respond to the world around you.  The human brain processes over a million messages a second!  The brain functions differently then our other organs.  There is an intelligence to it, it allows us to reason, to feel emotion, to dream, to relate to others and over all,  Its what makes us human.

     While you take the time to look up these amazing facts on the human brain, why not do yourself a favor and look up The DNA code.  Ok, I may get excited here, cause this is .....amazing!

      As some of you may already know a computer program is made up of 1's and 0's.  The way they are arranged tells the computer what to do.  The DNA code in each of our cells is made up of 4 chemicals A, T, G and C.  much like a computer these are arranged to serve a certain function in the cell.  There are 3 BILLION of these letters in every human cell!!!!!!!!!  Plainly put, DNA is a 3 billion letter program telling a cell to work in a certain way.  Why is this .....AMAZING?  well when your screen saver pops up on your computer do you assume chance made it possible?  Or that an intelligent being programed the computer?

     How did this information end up in each human cell?  These are chemicals that instruct on exactly how a person should develop.  Everything else in the world around us informs us that you cannot find detailed instruction without someone constructing it.

     I could seriously go on about some of the amazing things about us, around us, and beyond us all day.  The world, the human body, the universe is wondrous.  So....let me ask you, when you happen upon the cabin in the woods do you walk by and reason it is there by chance?  Or to you stop and marvel for a moment at the maker who must have designed it? 

    

Life Lesson from a Four Legged Friend

 
                                                      

 It was the winter of 2004 and I was heart broken.  I was 4 years into my marriage and still we were unable to conceive.  We had just seen another doctor and even though he prescribed medication,  the outcome didn't seem hopefully.  The sad fact was that our future may not hold the many children we had hoped for.  In my grief stricken mind I thought the best course of action would be to let my husband go.  He was young.  He could find another and build the family we once spent hours day dreaming about.  "fine" he finally yelled at me, frustrated beyond belief that I expected him to not uphold his vows of for better or for worse.  "You want a baby, I'll get you a damn baby".

    I had a moments fear as he left that I would hear of a kidnapping from the local mall.  Instead my husband came home with the ugliest, sickliest ball of black fur that I had ever seen.  This 5lb pup was taken away from his mom and dropped at the SPCA at 8 weeks.  He had kennel cough and his fur (he was Husky Sheppard mix,  and had ALOT of fur) was covered in poop.  If anything ever needed mothering it was this little guy.  He was named Abbott Walker and given a bath right away!!!!

     Now on a side note, and only admitted to my husband for the first time here, I allowed my husband to believe he was named Abbott after Abbott and Costello, or the great Tank Abbott.  The truth????  Well at that time I was reading and fell in love with the Ya Ya Sister hood Rebecca Wells.  My favorite characters in the book?  Buggy Abbott and Sidda Walker.  Sorry Cory your great big dog was totally named after a chick book!!!!

     Abbott needed me and I needed Abbott.  He gave me someone to mother, to fuss after, to pour my love into, and he gave that love right back in abundance.

     He gave this family 11 years (to the date. He died one day after the anniversary of the day he was brought home) of love, loyalty and friendship.  He was never just a dog but a member of this family, a child when a mother needed one the most.  A friend when anyone just needed a fuzzy neck to cry into.  An older brother to a 4lb baby we eventually brought home.  He was, and in memory he still is pure love.

     Abbott was as a dog, what I strive to be as a human being.  He left a very defined paw print on the hearts of everyone he knew.  So.......to honor this loveable furry being I'd like to leave you all with the life lessons Abbott taught me, and the memories that will forever keep Abbott in our hearts.


Do what you love. Even if it makes no sense and comes with a bit of trouble  -  Storm days were huge in my house.  While my son would be dancing around cause their was no school, then grumbling cause it was storming to hard to go out to play, my husband and I would be complaining about the extra work load.  Abbott though, he would be at the door whining wanting to go out.  The moment his feet touched that snow he was bounding off, sticking his face in the snowy fluff and making trails.  He loved that fluffy white stuff almost as much as he liked the fact that the whole family was home to watch him do it and laugh at his antics.

yup that's the garbage can lid

 



Love makes all the difference - Abbott was the greatest to have around when you were crying.  He'd set his big old head down against my shoulder and offer his neck to me.  You couldn't be sad for long with your arms wrapped around him and your face against that fluffy husky neck. When you were sick Abbott wouldn't leave you, he'd curl up next to you and keep watch of everyone and every thing that came near.  My favorite way though that Abbott showed his love was his hand holding.  He would sit up beside you and paw at you till you held out your hand.  He would place his paw in your palm and expect you to "hold hands" with him for as long as he wanted you to.  Sometimes it was minutes, sometimes it was hours but to stop the process before he had gotten his fill would only lead to more pawing and whining for your hand again.

 

Be True to yourself........Even in death - He was in pain.  His lungs, heart, stomach had filled with blood and he was dying.  To touch him hurt him.  Yet as I slipped my hand under his hips to help him stand and he screamed with pain, not once did he think to nip, to growl, to do anything but turn and look at me with those huge brown eyes and offer me comfort for his pain.  Abbott was deathly allergic to bees and sadly it took a couple of summers with me chasing him around with meds to learn that we can't eat these.  But Abbott didn't let bad things change him from who he was at his core, a gentle, loving soul.  When Darrell came along and little fingers were stuck in his mouth in the middle of eating he would just let his jaw go slack and food fall from his mouth, the thought of snapping never occurred to him.

Its ok to be scared- ok this is one of my favorite Abbott stories.  And yes I'm laughing still as I write this.  Picture this.......80lbs of black dog sitting in a Vets office.  Abbott is eating cookies happily from moms hand while sitting on the floor.  He looks over his shoulder to make sure everyone is happy too and sees the vet filling a needle.  Suddenly 80lbs of black dog is screaming, howling and on my lap pinning me into my chair as he try's to climb up on my shoulder.  The vet drops the needle on the counter puts his hands up in the air and says "I never even touched him" lol.  When we finally got out of the room this lovely little old lady with a cat on her lap calm as anything looks at Abbot and then me "did they have to pull a tooth?" she asks sympathetically..........nope, my dog is just deadly afraid of needles.

 Every Stranger is a Potential Friend -  Abbott loved EVERYONE!  Every visitor to the door he expected to pet him, kiss his nose, hold his paw.  I always said heaven help us if anyone ever broke into this house with a cookie. It didn't just stop with people tho, he loved cats.  He befriended smaller dogs and even the much bigger one on the other side of our fence.  His best friend for the longest time was a Ferret and just to add some spice to the mix he became friends with a gecko.

 

Try New Things - Some times you won't like them, like the time he ate a bag of tea lights and left me a nice poop candle in my kitchen, and sometimes you will.  We couldn't peal a veggies in this house without the dog begging for some, and we had to hide the bag of potatoes.

Its OK to Make the Same Mistake More then Once - So it started the same way every time. I would run a bath with bubbles and get in.  At some point if the door was left open Abbott would come walking in and stick his head in the tub to begin eating bubbles.  It was always the same result, he would realise they tasted bad and run his tongue along the wall trying to get the taste out.  The moment the taste was gone............he'd walk over to the tub........and start eating bubbles....and the whole process would continue



 Laughter is Life's Real Music - Abbott lived off of laughter, the moment he heard someone laughing the tail would start wagging. If he was lucky enough to do something to make you laugh you could bet the action would be repeated.  He lived up to his nick name of Scooby Duffus.

You don't need to be Leader of the Pack, you Just need a Pack - When Abbott was dying I called my husband from work and told him he needed to come home.  Thankfully he was already on his way.  Abbott was off in the bedroom wanting to be alone. The pain had gotten worse, and he could no longer move from his hips down.  The moment he heard my husbands first foot steps into the house he picked himself up and drug himself to the door even tho we were all telling him it was ok, to stay.  He had greeted my husband at the door every day for 11 years and he wasn't about to let death stop him from doing so today.  He made it to my husband and laid down at his feet.  It took almost everything he had in him to show this last sign of love and respect for the man he deemed the Alpha.

 
Just Smile -

 

 

 

     Abbott passed away on February 11th, 2015 after my husband and I made the decision to put him to sleep,  rather then wait for the cancer that had caused his stomach, heart and lungs to fill with blood, take him.  He took his last breath much the same way as he began his journey with us.  In our arms, being told he was loved.  He excepted death with his same loving and kindly manner he lived his life with.  There is not a day that passes where a action or a word doesn't bring about some memory of him.  Love never dies, and Abbott was and is pure love.