I'm a classic movie buff. Kind of rare for a girl my age, but its just another part of little ol' me! I can remember being small and dreaming of being Gregory Pecks wife some day. I was heart broken when it was explained to me why that could never take place....poor Gregory was quickly replaced with Charlton Heston when I saw Ben Hur who was later replaced by Yul Brynner after seeing the king and I.
I wanted to have the style and grace of Audrey, the class and intelligence of Katharine. If you had of asked me what my favorite moves were when I was 8 I would have told you "My Fair Lady, African Queen, the Quiet Man, and the Bells of Saint Mary's" I really haven't changed much. There may be a few newer titles added to my favorite movie list, but the old black and whites still are a favorite.
Recently someone told me that they had found a site that offered free viewing of old classic films. "it made me think of you" they said, and then quickly followed it with "no insult intended". I was confused to where the unintended insult was. To be quiet honest I think I would be more insulted with a newer movie collection made someone think of me. Sex, violence, please don't even get me started on the dialect, woman half clothed and recycled stories modernized. Please compare me to the old movies. Let the triple threat actors/actresses of those days (most sang, danced and acted), the eloquently spoken, remind you of me. Trust me........I won't be insulted.......in fact right now I think i'm inspired. I'm making a date with Gene Kelly and watching An American in Paris..............
I got rhythm, I got music, i got my man
who could ask for anything more?
I've got daisies in green pastures
I've got my man
who could ask for anything more?
Yul Brynner
Audrey
Katherine Hepburn
Charlton Heston
(sighs) Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday , who could not love those beautiful eyes
Friday, 22 August 2014
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
Shakespeare
All Actors want that once in a life time role. The one that pushes them to stardom, the role that lands them that Oscar, the one role that list them among the great actors of our generation. Isn't that true for all of us? We play our roles, mother, professional, husband, wife, father, sister, brother, daughter, son. Have you ever stopped to think what your "Once in a life time" role is? When the day comes, and you make your final exist from the "stage" , take your last bow and say good night, what is it you want the audience to say about the roles you have played?
We've all made mistakes. all of us. All actors/actresses have that one role they wish they could forget they took, and none of us want to be remembered for the one awful moment on stage. So..what are you doing to make everyone forget? Are you continuing to choose the same roles?
I watched an interview with Mathew McConaughey about his Oscar nomination (and win) for best leading actor of the year. To make a long story short he felt he wasn't getting serious enough roles, that the movies that were coming to him weren't the stories he wanted to tell. So what did he do? He started refusing scripts, enjoyed being a dad, and waited for the role he knew would be life changing. Thank God he did, Dallas Buyers Club showed his true acting ability, proved he wasn't just a pretty face and earned him and Oscar win, a first in his career. In his Oscar speach Mathew said three things that I think are needed in everyones life..
There's a few things, about three things to my account that i need each day. One of them is something to look up to, another is to look forward to, and another is someone to chase. now, first off, I want to thank God. Cause that's who I look up to. He has graced my life with opportunities that I know are not of my hand or any other human hand. He has shown me that it's a scientific fact that gratitude reciprocates. In the words of the late Charlie Laughton, who said, "when you've got God, you got a friend. And that friend is you." To my family, that's who and what I look forward to. To my Father who, i know he's up there right now with a big pot of gumbo. he's got a lemon meringue pie over there. he's probably in his underwear. And he's got a cold can of miller Lite and he's dancing right now. To you, Dad, you taught me what it means to be a man. To my mother who's here tonight, who taught me and my two older brothers.....demanded that we respect ourselves. And what we in turn learned was that we were then better able to respect others. Thank you for that mama. To my wife, Camila, and my kids Levi, Vida and Mr. Stone, the courage and significance you give me every day i go out the door is unparalleled. you are the four people in my life that i want to make the most proud of me. Thank you. And to my hero. That's who i chase. now when i was 15 years old, i had a very important person in my life come to me and say "who's your hero?" and I said, "i don't know, I gotta think about that. Give me a couple of weeks." i come back two weeks later, this person comes up and says "who's your hero?" I said "i thought about it. You know who it is? Its me in 10 years." so I turned 25. Ten years later, that same person comes to me and says, "so, are you a hero?" and i was like "not even close, no, no, no". She said, "why?" I said "because my hero's me at 35." So you see every day, every week, every month and every year of my life, my hero's always 10 years away. I'm never gonna be my hero. I'm not gonna attain that. I know i'm not, and that's just fine with me because that keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing., to that I say, "Amen." To that i say, "Alright, alright, alright." To that i say "just keep living."
Now, my purpose is not to sell you all on the Dallas Buyers Club (amazing as it was) but to show you something that Mr McConaugh already seems to know. God is a fantastic ghost writer helping us co-write our play, but we are the play write, we can be our own hero, we can choose the role we play. We can CHANGE the role we've been playing. With knowlege, thought, a little help and determination, we can set the story we want to live.
I hope when the day comes when the curtain finally closes on the play of my life the audience will say "she was a good mother, she loved with all her heart, she laughed and made others laugh and she was kind" I try hard to live my life within this role daily, sometimes I do it without thought, some days I struggle to stay within the role I want to play.....but its always my choice, my life, my stage.
Don't blame those around you for the way your stage is set, for the role YOU are choosing to play. A Script change is never easy on the play-write or the actor but its bound to happen. Write your story, live the role you were meant for. Find something to look up to.......something to look forward to.......and something to chase...........alright....alright....alright....just keep living.
(and yes, he could have sang row row row your boat and I would have loved it.......I mean LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!)
If you know me, then you know my grandparents were a second set of parents to me. If I wasn't home I was there. I had the best grandparents. My Grandfather was well read and had a million and one army stories...we're still trying to figure out which ones were true! My Grandmother could cook anything, just walking threw the front door made me hungry. They taught me a love for the classics, an appreciation for true beauty, and the art of making something with my hands.
My brother and I would fight over who got to stay with them on the weekend. I don't know what my brother did that was so great when he was there alone, but I had the best memories being made when it was my turn. My grandmother and I would sneak up to her sewing room. God I loved it there, the sound of her sewing machine going, the great big silver jar of buttons, and some how she knew the story behind almost every one , the bags upon bags of material, and that old mannequin in the corner. I became Rasha the world famous designer, and I'd spend hours covering the mannequin in scraps while my grandmother hemmed a dozen family members pants and skirts.
Christmas one year I got an art set, I spent all day making a sign for that sewing room door. Dangerous, Keep Out, Woman at work it said in bright bold colors. God what a magical time when I got to be the big girl that walked threw that sewing room door with her.
Today my father came back from my grandmothers house. They've slowly been fixing it up to sell since her passing two years ago this October. My sewing room of memories no longer exists. I'd be lying if I said the thought wasn't making me cry as I write this. She was so much more then my grandmother, she was a million amazing memories, she was my second mom, and she was my best friend. My dad surprised me tho, he walked threw the door with that 60 year old mannequin that was my world famous model and a sewing machine of my grandmothers. Sadly I don't know how to make the clothes for my model on it.......yet, but maybe someday my grandchild will be sitting in my craft room enjoying the sound of that old sewing machine the way I did, and another Rasha will be reborn.
My beautiful grandmother holding my son a few months after he was born
I promised a while back that I would make a copy the the eulogy I wrote and read at my grandmothers funeral for some family members. Instead I am choosing to write it here as the anniversary of her death nears, so that you all my share in the wonderful woman who had such a major influence in my life.
I've never thought of a world without my grandmother before. She was always such a huge part of my world. To those of us that knew Nanny best she was ageless, active, outgoing and adventurous up to her last days. She was a mother, a grandmother, a great grandmother, wife, friend. A woman who never minded pushing back the furniture to wrestle one of her boys or dance when ever the right partner was near. She could chase you through the house and yard at break neck speed, not stopping you from causing havoc but helping you create a bit of it. Its no wonder so many loved to be near her, and if you've ever shopped with her you know what I mean. Every five minute trip to the mall became an hour as she greet friend after friend. Imagine my surprise when the same thing happened in Moncton while she was visiting. She was active in her community, a person who could sit and discuss politics as well as the many places in the world she had been, the children she brought along, and the trouble she caused. I know those in the family all just thought of her adventures in Egypt. I know everyone of us has a favorite Egypt story, and the stories never changed. Each time it was told with humor, honestly and passion as she described how she engaged a guard in conversation and persuaded him to open an ancient scroll so she could "take a little peek". Or how she jumped the museums velvet ropes to sit on one of the ancient thrones. She was the strongest woman i have ever met. She could and had put a full grown son on his back when he caught her by surprise. A woman who when placed in a foreign country with 3 small children, made a friend, bought groceries, and made dinner within a few hours. She was filled with stories and cherished and remembered everything of our past and present, keeping us all connected to one another like one of her beautiful quilts. Her faith was unshakeable. She prayed daily for friends and family, believing with all her heart that God was listening to every word she said. For 8 years she prayed i would have a child, and when i shared my doubts with her she would tell me "God and I are still talking it over". When I told her i was 3 months along she just smiled knowingly and said "I knew it would happen in God's time" She was ecstatic one night after praying to find her knees hurt and rushed to the phone to call one of her children to see if their legs were still in pain. She was so happily certain that God releaved her daughters pain and gave it to her as she prayed for. So willing and lovingly wanting to help her family from anything that troubled them. When my grandfather passed, I can remember my grandmother holding me, comforting me through her own grief. She told me that no one really dies. With a faith as strong as ever she said we will all meet each other again. Strong, healthy, with no tears, no pain, only love and joy. She told me that in till that day we meet them again, that they are still with us in love and memory. I can so easily remember the comfort her words brought me and how much closer i felt to my grandfather again. With that in mind i'd like to share the things that will keep my grandmother forever with me. Nanny will forever be cool soft hands against a fevered brow, honey on a peanut butter sandwich, pushing back the furniture just because you need to dance, the joy of seeing an old friend, the hope when making a new one. She will forever be sudden bursts of laughter, a warm quilt on a snowy day, the sound of a breaking ginger snap and pancakes cooking early in the morning. Shes long walks at sundown, church on Sunday, and cutting down a Christmas tree just to name a few. I will feel her every time i hug my son for no reason besides the fact i'm blessed to have him, and every squeal of delight he has on a Christmas morning (remember nanny laughing and playing with the whoopee cushion all through Christmas?) I can hear my grandmother telling all of us that the tears we cry aren't for her, she not in pain, and finally with my uncle Darrell and Grampy again. She would say we are crying for ourselves and what we miss. As usual your right Nanny, but your an awful lot to miss. Thank you for every moment, for everything. I love you so much.....till we meet again.
